Missed Connections

My plan was to go into town, print out a couple of documents and get some work done in a cafe I frequently go to. The year just started but I was in full work mode. I needed to get some of my work tasks done so I could enjoy the weekend and not scramble going into next week.

I arrived at the cafe in the afternoon. Thankfully, it was not too full when I walked. I spotted an open spot at the back and set up shop. I ordered the usual Cafe Latte and a sandwich. I logged into my laptop, checked my phone for any missed messages and got straight to work.

It was about 15 minutes later when she walked in. I glanced up for a minute as she walked up to the counter and went back to work. She wore a yellow dress as I recall.

She then headed towards my general vicinity. There was an open space to my left and she walked up and asked if the seat was taken. I said “No” and she proceeded to take a seat.

I try to be a casual observer. I see a lot of women walk into that very cafe, looking their best. Whether it's intentional or not, I’ve learned to observe but not interact unless the other party interacts first.

She set up her own laptop and ordered an ice tea. A few minutes later, I noticed that she was on a video call on her phone.

I’m not one to eavesdrop on nearby conversations but I couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t speaking English to the other person on the phone. I couldn’t decipher it. It sounded…Arabic?

No. Was it an African language? I couldn’t tell.

Trying to understand what language she was speaking made me briefly reminisce about an old girlfriend from a while back. She was from Zambia. I remember when she used to talk to her sisters and sometimes her family back home in Zambia. She would start out speaking English and then she would switch to “Bemba”, a Bantu language spoken in Zambia.

Since I couldn't decipher the language this woman was speaking on the video call, I decided to refocus on my work. But I was definitely intrigued….

It wasn’t too long after when she made another video call. This time, she spoke English. Then she switched and I can definitely make out the language she spoke. I could distinctly hear Twi.

She’s multi-lingual? That’s cool.

That’s definitely a skill I’m not good at. I couldn’t speak in a local dialect to save my life even if you had a gun to my head and my only way to make it out alive was speaking another language.

You’re probably thinking at this point that I’ve been distracted to the point that I couldn’t get work done. On the contrary, work was moving at a great pace. I was done with half my work tasks and would probably be done in the next hour.

But this woman next to me indeed caught my attention when I took mini-breaks.

I don’t know how people respond in cafes when people try to strike up a casual conversation. I didn’t want to interrupt or give off the impression that I was one of those guys who was going to “hit on her”.

So I just casually asked her a question in relation to a research I was working on at the time.

“Hi…excuse me? Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure”. She replied.

“I just wanted to find out something for a research I’m working I’m doing if you don’t mind”

“Ok”.

“Do you read any online content for women? Or read any magazines related to women?

“Oh no. I actually don’t…”

“Really?”

“Yeah. In the Netherlands, I don’t really read a lot of online stuff. It’s kind of distracting. I just read books. Like physical books”.

Wait…. Was she Dutch? Was she speaking Dutch on the video call? Also.. she likes physical books? Interesting…

“Really?” I responded. “You don’t read any online stuff? Like Vogue Magazine? Physical or online?”

“No. I don’t”, she replied.

“Ok. No problem. Thanks.”

First of all, I blew it.

At that point, I could have dug deeper. I could have asked more questions. I could have gotten a tiny bit more personal. I could have asked whether she was Dutch earlier. Of if she was in touch temporarily.

But I didn’t want to push it.

In an earlier call, she had been talking to a guy in one of her video chats. My overthinking brain just went to a logical conclusion that she had a boyfriend.

In the next hour, I wrapped up my work, paid for my bill and left the cafe.

As I started my car and slowly pulled onto the road to head to my next destination, she was standing outside as well. She was probably waiting on her Uber (I had overhead another of her conversation saying she was calling an Uber. I guess I was eavesdropping a bit too much…)

I could have slowed down my car. I could have waved her over and gotten her name. Maybe even her number. But I didn’t.

Maybe she didn’t have a boyfriend. Maybe it was just a friend. Maybe it was her brother.

But I did overhear her saying she couldn’t wait to pack and couldn’t wait to leave. Or maybe that was in relation to something else.

There’s too many maybes. There was not enough action. This was what happens when you overthink. It’s one of those gifts and curses.

I need to stop eavesdropping on conversations. Or maybe I need to use that to my advantage in casual conversations in cafes.

Either way, who knows what could have happened. Maybe nothing. Maybe more.

But it’s too late now. Maybe next time.