On Turning 29: Where Did My Life Go?
Today is my birthday. Today I turn 29 years old. Happy Birthday to me I guess. I’m one year from being 30 and boy, do I feel like the other side of 25 just flew by. Where the hell did my life go??
It feels like it was only yesterday I was sitting in a University classroom, working hard to get my grades up to graduate in the final semester.
I thought when I was done with college, I could work on my dreams. I had so many stuff that wanted I wanted to do. So what happened? Where did all those ideas go? Well, the problem is that I grew up! Adult life is not what I thought it would be.
I graduated from the University of Houston in 2011 and a couple of months later, I was on my way back home to Ghana. They once told me that going to a foreign country that I might experience so type of “culture” shock. But they failed to tell me that I could experience it coming back home after 5 years abroad.
When I got back home, I experienced some sort of depression. I was having a terrible time adjusting in my own homeland. All my friends had kind of moved on with their lives. Some got married. Some had kids. Now I was back home trying to reconnect like a bad connection. Basically I was a ghost trying to fit back into the real world.
I had many so ideas about what I wanted to do when I got back home. Honestly, I was naive. I came back to a place where we still hadn’t figured out our power system, a place where people were apathetic, and a culture that was too laid back when it came to making things work.
I got a job working IT Security for three years. It wasn’t my first choice but the idea was to get some work experience before I thought of going back to school to get a Masters.
The years just flew by. All I knew was work. A social life was non-existent. From Monday to Friday, it was all about work. Then I eased a bit from work and tried to be a little social.
I got a girlfriend. Then a couple of months went by, I became too focused on work again and then I didn’t have a girlfriend.
Then the depression came back for a while. I fought through it and had to change my outlook because I felt like I was going down that hole too often since I got home.
Looking back, I feel like there’s a lot of wasted effort on some things. I don’t have a lot of regrets but not living life and soaking in the environment around me in Ghana is something I wish I had done more often.
But I’m changing that. I’ve got back into writing. I’m in the second year of my two year Masters program, I’m switched careers and now I’m into user interface and experience (UX) designing. I have a lot of free room for creativity. I’m catching up to TV shows and movies I’ve missed. I’m trying to do new stuff and socialize more. I’m struggling with the latter but what would you expect from an introvert.
I’ve adjusted a bit to the Ghanaian lifestyle but I still think we need an attitude adjustment and thankfully I’ve met some people who feel the same way and have my perspective.
Today, I turned 29. It doesn’t feel different than any other day. My phone keeps buzzing because people on my Facebook friend list see the birthday notification and send me happy birthday messages. I’m getting WhatsApp messages from family members. Days like today is when I get more attention than I will get in a year.
Today is the day I scheduled a release for my first poetry collection on Amazon. It comes out on Amazon Kindle today (Self promotion! Lonely Nights & Heartbreaks, $7.99, on Amazon)
So what’s next? I have no idea to be honest. I know I have to finish up my Masters program and then keep working on my side projects. But I’m not totally pushing myself and being reclusive this time. I’m more flexible and not as rigid as I used to be.
I recently found an old itemized list of “projects” that I wanted to do. I started this in 2014. It looks good so far. Maybe I’ll update the list and try out more stuff.
Happy 29th to me.
God, I feel old…..
